I haven't had a day off and I'm already tired.. I'm sick and tired!! Tired of being sick!! Tired of being tired!!! I'm afraid to be alone, I'm afraid not to be alone.. I'm afraid of what I am, what I'm not, what I might become, what I might never become.. I don't want to stay like this for the rest of my life, but I'm afraid that will happen.. And I'm just tired, you know?! I'm just so tired of being afraid.. I kept telling myself, I can make it till the end of the road.. I believe God exist, He will care for us, take good care of us, guard us till the very end of our lives.. ANd I do hope you believe in God too, that He will lead the way, but why can't you just stay strong and don't be affected by your surroundings, by our surroundings and always finds something to quarrel about? I know you care, you worried about me, ya, so am I!! But I just wanna say, I hated the quarrel, I hated the arguments that we always had!! I hated crying too!!! It's really damn hard to explain to you how I feel for you.. You always says you understand me, but why I don't feel like you understanding me?!! Nevermind... Its not your fault that you don't understand me, because I'm the one making all the foolish stuff, that makes you don't understand me at all!!I just needed trust, secure, honest, understanding, patient, loving caring.. And that's all I wanted!!!! Why is it so hard?!!! I really feel like saying that F*** words now... But I had promise you not to say anymore, And I will keep my promises... You promise to be an understanding person, you promise to not get angry easily, but did you make it? YOu keep say I disappointed you, but do you think about yourself? Hello!! I'm a girl, you're a guy.. You should be tougher then me, and not asking me to be tougher then you!!! Though I make wrong sometimes, but can you be the guy, the man to forgive? You did wrong sometimes, but I choose the happiness road and to forgive, and not mad.. Because I trust that if I do so, you also will do so... I had showed you an example already, but why can't you sees it???!!! Being together with you is an happy thing, but when it comes to quarrel, I really feel like I'm dead!! I hated guys shouted at me!! Hated guys treat girls like this, Hated guys don't know how to comfort girls!!! You're always right, and I'm always wrong.. You never notice it, even though I told you so, you will say I'm the one always wanted to win!! Huh... You don't even trust me!! It happens to me twice in my life!! I thought you will be the one brings new hope for me!! I really don't understand why long distance relationship is hard for guys?!!! Is love really there????
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